One of my current life lessons:
I don’t usually share much when I’m in a time of transition, but I’m learning to grow and want to be open about it. I’ve been so encouraged by others when they’ve been transparent about their experience in life from point A to point B.
I’ve been learning about balance lately… which to me means living my life out of this order:
1. God and His ways first
2. Family and friends (because I consider them my family)
3. Work/ gifts/ ministry
I’ve never been one to do things halfway, some may call it perfectionism, but either I do it to my best ability or not at all. Whenever I put my hands to something, I want to do it “as unto the Lord.” In the end His opinion is what really matters. As a single parent, raising and homeschooling two children, I sometimes feel like there’s not enough hours in the day to accomplish all that I need to do with that spirit of excellence. As my plate gets fuller, I begin juggling more balls and that voice of fear tries to whisper in my ear, “It’s all going to come crashing down!” bringing it’s friends: anxiety, worry, hopelessness, despair and control awaiting their turn. But that’s where I have a choice, listen to those voices or silence them by creating another thought, another possibility. “So what, if I drop them? Just pick them up and start again.” It’s so much better than being paralyzed by fear.
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5)
Just when I thought I couldn’t handle anymore, another large ball is thrown into the mix. I am completely outside my comfort zone, entering new arenas and boy are those little annoying voices working overtime. I lay in my bed, having trouble falling asleep, wide awake pondering “How am I possibly going to handle it all?” I hear God’s voice whisper in my ear, quietly and softly, “I want you to give some of your time to me first thing in the morning every day.” Lately, because of my lack of time, I had been listening to tons of sermons, teachings, worship and even doing lots of ministering to others needs, but I hadn’t been ministering to the Lord. I remember when we were at one of the busiest point of our lives (homeschooling, hosting long house meetings and Scott endlessly working to build the business mostly out of town), at midnight, everyone was finally asleep, the house quiet, the chores done, the new day had begun and I couldn’t wait to begin it with Him. I would purposely stay up from midnight until two in the morning to meet with God alone. I loved those times, whenever we’d met it refreshed me, gave me fresh focus and new strength.
“Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.” (Isaiah 40:31)
Like how we steward our money, we need to steward our time/focus as well. I have a lot of questions and need wisdom, who better to ask?
“In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:6)
For my friends who are in pressing seasons or entering new paths, join me in giving all our cares and worries to God. He’s big enough and more than able to carry them for us.
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