In the winter of 2006, my husband Scott, our two toddlers and I decided to drive throughout North America after selling our home. For two years we lived out of hotels, stayed with different family members and house sat for friends as we sought the Lord about where we should move onto next. During our time in Arizona, Scott did ministry school with Extreme Prophetic and evangelized in the streets as I home schooled the children.
Upon our return home, we shared with our community what he had learned. We did some prophetic activation and taught people how to recognize God's voice. People were asking to come over and soak with us, spontaneous meetings began, and a few times we were asked to host guest speakers. Somehow forty people crammed into my small living room and up the stairwells during those meetings. We had a couple of water baptisms in our bathtub, Baptist youth were getting touched, some were baptized in the fire of God, and Scott began evangelizing with friends in the streets.
In 2013, we were hit with bad news from the doctor. Scott was diagnosed with an aggressive, cancerous tumor in his bladder and submitted to tumor removal surgery. Although he was battling cancer, that didn’t deter him, he still went out and prayed for the sick. In the following years we witnessed God heal all sorts of pain, grow legs out, restore hearing loss from a ruptured ear drum and heal a 20 year condition of curvature of the neck. He was preparing to go on his very first crusade with a team to INDIA.
However in March 2015, his health began to decline quickly and we ended up back in the hospital, since the cancer had metastasized throughout his body. Throughout the battle, he would always say, "God is good." It wasn’t some mantra he uttered trying to convince himself, it was because he believed it with all of his heart. After a faithful fight, he passed on July 2015 from heart failure, just outside our home as EMS was transporting him to the ambulance.
2 Timothy 4:7 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”
The next step of telling my children that their daddy was never coming home, was the hardest step I had yet to face. I huddled them tightly to me and told them, as they broke out into wailing. Then in the middle of our anguish and grieving, my son suddenly stopped crying and began waving his hand goodbye.
I asked him, "What are you doing?"
Excitedly he replied, "There's daddy waving goodbye to us. Can't you see him? He's wearing a white t-shirt and he’s smiling and waving at us. He's standing in front of a golden arch with bright light shining through it." Reluctantly, my daughter and I waved back in faith, because we didn't see a thing. From that moment on my son had a new reality, "My dad's not dead, he's alive."
Jesus has started giving my daughter heavenly experiences as well. In one encounter, she saw her daddy in the living room of his house. There was minimal furniture, just a leather recliner, a large television, and instead of walls, the room was surrounded by large windows where bright light would fill the entire space. He motioned towards the TV screen and told her that he would watch our family here on earth and pray for us (kind of like reality TV). She has such a heavenly perspective of our lives on earth, about heaven and how they link, due to these visitations.
My husband and I were together for 22 years, since I was 19 years old, spending over half of my life with him. Grief gripped my heart and doubts began to creep in as my faith slowly withered. I never stopped loving God, I just slowly stopped doing His kingdom. I began to slowly replace my prayer time with watching Netflix and found myself living like a hermit, hiding in the basement.
In May 2016, my best friend called to tell me about a week long ministry school with Voice of Revival being held two minutes away. I figured maybe it was time to get stretched, since it would be my very first ministry school. But I was scared; I was taking myself out of my small, padded, distracted world. On the first night, T.J. Green, one of the ministers taught on healing. He shared a testimony about a time when he felt full of faith, went to the hospital to pray for a man, who immediately dies after he leaves the room. Then he said these words, “NO matter what you're going through or your past experiences, God's word IS still true.” Those words struck my heart like an arrow, causing me to shake inside and weep, so I hid in the bathroom to talk to God.
I asked Him, “What’s happening to me? Why am I crying?”
I heard, “You stopped believing in Me.”
I argued, “I never stopped believing You existed. You are the only one who can bring me comfort.”
I heard, “You stopped believing in My word.”
I repented and felt a huge weight leave me. It may be hard to believe, and it is difficult to explain, but I was restored in that one moment. I believe that one word from the throne of God can change your life if you let it. I realized that Scott's passing on was the closing of chapter one in our lives, but God still has many more chapters left to write in our book.
Hebrews 10:23 "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful."
"You have no clue whose life will be impacted simply by your willingness to persevere." (unknown)
Our lives have never been the same since that moment. This is our testimony about God helping us to overcome grief and if He did it for us, He will do it for you. God will pull you out of a pit if you will only let Him; just pray and ask Him to.
In future blogs, I hope to share more about how mine and my children’s lives have been impacted. I hope you’ll stick around to hear more about our journey. Blessings!